A wedding fit for cake
by Linguistic-Ocean-Surgeon
Summary: Sanji's always dreamed of marrying that perfect lady- just not like this.


Standing in front of an alter made of rich dark chocolate, with delicate yet delicious swirls of craftsmanship was doing nothing to relieve the gloom of Sanji's mood. As a cook of course he could admire the skill and effort painted within the petals of each and every sugar flower that coated the mass wedding garden like icing on a cake; but in fact they, and every other item made of the sweet substance, only seemed to worsen his mood. No one else however seemed to pay him much attention, races of all sorts chattered away on chairs made of candy-cane, while children ran in between rows, laughing and screaming trying to catch each other within the maze of soft pink grass that decorated the garden floor. However the noise that came as a result of all this was nothing compared to the gripping silence offered by the family sitting directly behind him.

The Vinsmokes did indeed look impressively intimidating. They all wore the same mask, pleasant to some- a warning to others. He felt the frown set in his brow as his eldest sibling winked and smiled at the blonde approvingly, _'don't even think about running.'_ Her expression only making her brother want to choke more on his own misery. Suddenly waffle cone-organ pipes bellowed the classical sound of wedding tune notes, commanding silence amongst the guests. Heads all turned expectantly towards the large caramel arch situated directly at the entrance of the garden, all but one. Sanji felt the muscles in his gut tighten as blue orbs met those of none other than his future mother in-law. The overly large woman did nothing but stare back, her bulbous eyes narrowing in on him while her wrinkled face contorted, lips pulled to from a wide grin. Swallowing hard, Sanji concentrated on the scene before him, trying to ignore the lump of aanxietymixed with anger that had settled in his throat and the sudden urge to light a cigarette.

Layers of silky satin fell like scoops of smooth vanilla icecream as white heels treaded gracefully down the confetti scattered path and towards the alter. Simultaneous breaths were held as the bride-to-be glided across the garden floor, the trail of her dress floating just behind her, like the cloak of a queen. She certainly had the elegance of royalty, the satin sheen of her dress making her skin glow whilst the material clung to just the right spots before flowing out nicely from the upper waist. She wore a tiny beaded belt that shimmered like icing sugar and reflected that of her veil, which carried embroidered embellishment at the seams. In that moment Sanji couldn't think of anything other than how on earth such a grotesque woman could have given birth to such a dazzling being. That being said he also couldn't help but regret yet again the thought of having a wedding where a beautiful woman was being made to marry out of love- it was not something, in his opinion, any lady deserved. Petite hands encased in lace gloves clutched a bouquet of pink sugar roses, every pair of eyes gazed curiously as the lady in question ascended the steps to the alter and silently took her place next to the groom, her veil hiding any expression that may have been written on her face.

The vicar gave a slight _squawk_ before starting his speech, Sanji watched, dazed as the words left his beak in a flurry of unheard sentences. He glanced at the woman standing patiently beside him and for a minute imagined what it would be like to have someone like his Nami~Swan at his side instead. Now that he looked more closely, Pudding did have a rather similar figure and body type to her- he shook his head slightly. Now was not the time... although could have sworn he caught the glimpse of a tattoo underneath her veil when she was walking earlier- the sudden harsh whispers that had enveloped the garden broke Sanji from his careless daydreaming. He looked at vicar slightly confused and felt the expectant stares almost burning the back of his head. The animal before him cleared his throat with a slight cough and squawk before repeating his words. Sanji's eyes widened slightly as the sudden realisation set in. _'I do.'_ For what felt like an eternity for those words to leave his mouth, they were almost drowned out immediately by the deafening cheers of the crowd celebrating the 'new couple.' Feeling a small tug on his sleeve Sanji turned offering a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes... Until his so-called bride lifted her veil just enough for a bunch of orange locks to come into view and the sound of a bomb accompanied by the unmistakable yelling of what sounded like a certain pirate captain entered the air.

 _That was when everything went to pot._


End file.
